I miss him everyday and I am not sure what to do. Never been this way before. I put some feelers out to other areas to possible move away. It's just me now so I can really go anywhere really.  So I figured I'd send my resume out to see what happens.. Well, I have had my first response from sending my resume out of state. I'm a little nervous and alot scared. So much has happened here and if I'm going to have a fresh start, the only way I can see that to happen is to get new surroundings. 

 

Hmm, today started out as any typical Monday would. Didn't want to get up after practically no sleep. I did however manage to drag myself out of bed and shower and even made it to work on time.  Yeah me! Work was hectic today too, which was a good thing considering if I hadn't been so busy the day would seem like it would never end. So my "What did I learn today" is this - that the lunch hour is a very blessed event and you should drop to your knees and thank whatever being you choose for allowing you to have one. ;o)

Much to do this evening so I'm going to cut this short

TTYL-HUGS

Kimberly ;o)

i was asked to not write blogs about a particular someone because it made them feel bad... but since "MY" feelings don't apparently matter I figured, it's my page and I can write whatever I want... bottom line is... if you don't have anything to "HIDE" then why "LIE" about about the password. You know you changed it. I'm not that stupid... you signed in while I was there, I know this because I tried it again when I got home, it said you were on about an hour earlier. I may not be that good at math, but I was able to figure that out... Oh.. and next time you make a phone call, try giving all the details! It helps to give the "other party" a clear understanding of what happened.

With everything that has happened in my life- i sit back and try to evaluate my current relationship. Today brought many more tears and I have found myself wondering is love really worth this? We have had our ups and downs that's for sure and the way I was treated in my marriage really made me doubt myself and mistrust with others. I really thought this time was different. It seems like the words he chooses to use are on purpose and this time they hurt more than any of the affairs I put up with in my marriage. Maybe I just can't pick the right guy. I guess that maybe I was expecting something that didn't materialize when my daughter and I had a fight before she moved out. I expected some understanding from him. Not to tell me I was right or wrong, but to just listen let me get it out. It's times like this that I really miss my dad. He died in April and I haven't had anyone to just listen to me or let me cry it out. He never told me what a bad person I was or that he disagreed with me he would just let me get it out of my system and then say he loved me no matter what. Then he'd say well, how ya gonna fix it? Can it be fixed? I miss that and I need that!

Things are just so messed up that I am not even sure how to fix any of it.

If I were...
A colour: orange
A textile: cotton
A Clothes: comfortable jeans
A shoe: steve madden heels or boots
A make up: little as possible
A peluche: Tigger- He bounces
A Fruit: an orange
A cake: don't know
A perfume: Polo for woman
a smell: daffodills
One of the seven Dwarfs:"Sneezy"
A City: Somewhere beautiful
A Number: 22
A Cartoon: taz the devil
A Disney Cartoon: roger rabbit
A musical: Rent
A car: Z-4
A flower: wildflower
A day of the week: Saturday
A Mounth : May
A sport: hockey
A Toy: bouncing ball
A job: singer
A letter: Z
An animal: a gazelle
A bird: an eagle
A bug: lighting bug
A house: A-Frame in the woods
A drink:grapefruit juice
A language: italian
A dish: chicken paquata
An ice cream taste: mint chocolate chip
A female name: Rochelle
A male name: Andrew
A word: relaxed
An element : water

Can you hear it?

My desparate cry for help

I'm alone inside with only me for comfort,

The mixture is volatile

No-one really cares nor do they want to

If only someone paid attention..... They could see..

All that I show... All they ignore

Will soon disappear

Like the morning mist.

Ok.. You have got to see Saw II.... that's all ... Just have to see it... lol...

I watched The Perfect Man tonight.. and my god did I bawl my eyes out.. That movie hit home for me.. after my divorce it seemed like all I did was move my kids around.. not because I was running from anything. I was trying to do better by them.. I kinda felt like I was in the movie.. lol... and it made me feel so good when my children told me that they understood what I did.. and that they weren't scarred from it.. Now I've been in the same place for over a year now... absolutely love it and love having my children here with me.. even though they are older now and hardly ever here.. It's so empty when they are gone... I cherish every moment I get to spend with them and will drop everything when they say.. Hey mom... wanna do something?...

I know that most mom's feel this way.. but I think I've got the best two children any parent, single or married could ask for... I'm very proud of them and how they have grown into such good people...

All for now...

Night...

Wow, it's been a while since I last wrote.. Alot going on at work, they fired our old manager and brought in a couple of guys that really know their shit. It's kinda funny to watch some of my co-workers now... Play time is over.. lol... They moved me and Carol around. They gave the distribution manager her office and put her where I used to sit and moved me outside of the distribution manager's office. Still haven't figured out if that's a good thing or not.. Then the usual bullshit of trying to get caught up on all the stuff we should have already been doing, that the previous manager never told us about. So that's been loads of fun... Not...

My daughter has been driving me absolutely crazy. She's 20 now and wants so badly to be an adult and "live her life" but seems to forget that I'm not a mind reader and doesn't understand why in the world when I wake up for work and she's not home that I worry... Duh.... She has decided that she wants to be treated like a "roomate" instead of my "child", yet... she stills wants me to do all the "mommy stuff", like her laundry,clean up after her.. etc... so we've been butting heads a bit lately about her staying out until 4 or 5 am.. and then not wanting to wake up without me calling her when she has to get up to go to work.. (she works second shift)...

Ok, enough bitching for now... Oh there's more... always more.. but I'm feeling a little better with just getting that out of my system...

).....

I love my daughter... (that's not the funny part)... Picture this... She's an "adult" now and living with me again which I totally love... I missed the little shit when she was gone.. but shhhh don't tell her that... Ok... anyway.. you opened this to hear a funny story...

How many times does it take two brunettes to wash towels?....

Apparently three times... we have this deal... I'll put something in the wash and she's supposed to put it in the dryer... Well, I washed the towels, asked her to throw them in the dryer when she got home from work... she forgot.. so they sat in the machine over night... I washed them again.... and guess what... yep... she forgot again... so I just emailed her about them and she said that she rewashed them and then fell asleep... So guess what?... They are now in the dryer.... Hence... It takes two brunettes three times to wash and dry one load of towels...

Ok it may not have been as funny to you as it was to me.. but it's my page and I can write whatever I want... LOL...

Wow.. what a busy few days it's been... We are undergoing some major changes at work. New management coming in and coworkers are freaking out... gee wonder why?... lol The new Regional seems like an extremely intelligent person. Understands modern techonology and isn't afraid to use it. Which is Very cool!! I'm actually looking forward to the change... considering in my opinion we are under the "good ole boy" regiem... and my female coworkers and I find that extremely aggitating... ;o)

Oh and I got my hair all cut off.. Well that's what I consider it. It's now to my shoulders and it's really cute. I like it!! Just sat down in my stylists chair and said "do me"... Which he has been wanting to just chop away at my hair for some time now... It's all part of the new "me"... my new lease on life... and the beginings of "finding" myself again...

Woohooo!! Wish me luck...