With everything that has happened in my life- i sit back and try to evaluate my current relationship. Today brought many more tears and I have found myself wondering is love really worth this? We have had our ups and downs that's for sure and the way I was treated in my marriage really made me doubt myself and mistrust with others. I really thought this time was different. It seems like the words he chooses to use are on purpose and this time they hurt more than any of the affairs I put up with in my marriage. Maybe I just can't pick the right guy. I guess that maybe I was expecting something that didn't materialize when my daughter and I had a fight before she moved out. I expected some understanding from him. Not to tell me I was right or wrong, but to just listen let me get it out. It's times like this that I really miss my dad. He died in April and I haven't had anyone to just listen to me or let me cry it out. He never told me what a bad person I was or that he disagreed with me he would just let me get it out of my system and then say he loved me no matter what. Then he'd say well, how ya gonna fix it? Can it be fixed? I miss that and I need that!

Things are just so messed up that I am not even sure how to fix any of it.